Caption City Jail.

The room was dark, except for a single bright light shone in the face of General Kidnap-The-Mayor. The Cappers stood around from him, arms crossed, their intense stares on him. For the last hour, they’d been trying to get information from him with no success. Frustrated, Grey Zombie said, "Alright General… enough’s enough. Where’s the Baron’s headquarters?"

The General snapped at him, "Forget it, Crappers! I ain’t saying nothing to you!"

Amon leaned in close. "So that means you will say something?"

"No!"

Animebabe said, "But, you said you weren’t saying nothing. That means that you were saying something."

The villain thought a moment. "What I meant was—"

GlitterRock jumped in. "Ah! So now you’re taking it back! That isn’t going to look good at your trial, General-dude… offering to give information, and then reneging on it. That could be an extra penalty."

"But I didn’t…" The General thought a moment. "You ain’t using the English language to extort anything outta me!"

Resigned, the Cappers left the room. GlitterRock shook his head. "Man, like that’s dude’s harder to crack than the Billboard top 10 singles list!"

Animebabe said, "Which leaves us back at square one. We still don’t know where they are, or what Miglionicco’s planning."

Gray Zombie said, "We shouldn’t have long to wait. If there’s one thing about villains: when they think they’ve won, they can’t wait to unleash their evil plan!"

They heard a pair of feet running, and soon a policeman came running around the corner. "Cappers! Thank god you’re still here! Quick… something’s wrong!"

Gray Zombie sighed. "Told you so."

*

Across the city, all of the TV screens crackled and sizzled with static. And it was on every channel, regardless of antenna, cable or satellite. Finally, the picture cleared, focusing into a black screen with the words "A WORD FROM BARON MIGLIONICCO." The title screen dissolved into a study, where Miglionicco sat beside a crackling fireplace. He was wearing a velvet smoking jacket and was reading a book. He glanced up, and looked surprised by the camera. Smiling, he closed the book and said, "Ah. Caption City. Hello. I’m glad you stopped by.

"Let me start by introducing myself. I’m Baron Vlad Miglionicco. You may have heard about me in your newspapers, or TV news. Some have painted by as a crazed supervillain. Some have thought of me as an insane madman. Others have even called me a ruthless despot with delusions of grandeur. Me? Well, I just think of myself as a starry-eyed boy from Sussex, who used to sit on his back porch, look up at the sky, and dream of the day when the world would be a better place… because I’d be ruling it.

"Caption City, I’ll make this succinct and simple for even you to understand. In 24 hours, your mayor will turn over control of your city to me, or else."

A voice sneered from off-screen, "Or else what?"

Miglionicco snapped, "I was getting to that!" He threw the book to the right of the camera, and a painful yelp was heard. He composed himself, and smiled warmly again. "Caption City is unique in that its primary source of revenue comes from its entertainment core: its screengrabs. Without them, well… Caption City would wither and die." He reached into his smoking jacket and pulled out a small remote control. "Well, Caption City, from now on—consider your screengrabs frozen!" He punched a button, and smiled with thin lips. "You want them back? You want money back in the city’s coffers? I urge you: call your mayor, write him! Tell him to hand the city over to me. Remember, your vote does count!" The screen dissolved into black.

It quickly snapped back to Miglionicco’s study. He said, "Oh yes… and I’ve destroyed all the roads out of town. Have a nice day."

The screen went to black. In the upper left corner, a small red X was in a box, and the words: "Sorry. This isn’t very interesting without graphics" sat alongside it.

*

The Cappers stood in the Mayor’s office. It had been cleaned up since their battle with the General and Winky. The Mayor stood at the window, wringing his hands nervously. "Things are falling apart, Cappers. I thought you said that by getting General Kidnap-The-Mayor, you’d be able to solve this mess?"

Animebabe said, "We’re doing the best we can, Mayor McCheese."

"We can only do so much." Gray Zombie said, "Our numbers are severely depleted, remember."

Mayor McCheese looked out the window, down to the street below. There was a mob of people outside of City Hall, being held back by the police. "The city’s afraid, and I can’t blame them. Without the screengrabs, the city’s funding won’t last long."

"Chill out, Mr. Mayor." GlitterRock said, "We’re working on a plan right now to cool the Baron’s heels."

McCheese sighed and sat in his new chair. "GlitterRock, you Cappers had better act fast. The people want a solution now." He paused a moment. "If you can’t stop the Baron by tomorrow and unfreeze the screengrabs, I’m going to have no choice but to agree to his demands."

Amon’s eyes widened in surprise. "Give him Caption City? You can’t!"

"I can, and I will. I’ve got to do what’s best for Caption City, Amon." He looked over at the clock. "You’ve got twelve hours, Cappers. After that, the city belongs to Miglionicco!"

*

The Baron sipped his tea delicately, listening to what the others were saying. "Tell me again what he said?"

Major Antagonist said, "He called us up and said the Cappers are planning an assault on the Caption City screengrab server. They mean to strike in the hour."

Miglionicco thought a moment. "Are you sure you can trust your source?"

Mr. Sneer sneered, "He’s in the position to know what they’re planning. Plus he used to be real trustworthy, way back when. Why else would he tell us?"

"Why indeed." He paused. "Very well. Pack up, boys. We’ve got an ambush at the server to plan."

*

The Cappers peered through the underbrush at the Server complex. It loomed large, its shadow covering the area. Animebabe swallowed nervously. "It’s… big. That means there’s lots of places they could be hiding."

Gray Zombie said, "We’ve got the element of surprise on our side."

Amon said, "I wish we had The Fifth Element on our side." The others looked at him, confused. "The Fifth Element? Bruce Willis? He kicks ass?" Seeing their lack of reaction, he surmised, "We get Bruce Willis on our side, no one’s gonna beat us!"

Animebabe laid a hand on Amon’s shoulder. "Amon, you’ve gotta kick the pay-per-view. It’s ruining your life."

GlitterRock hefted his guitar into his hands. "Time’s running short… let’s boogie, cats!" They ran across the grass, and entered the building. Cautiously, they went from floor to floor without incident. Finally they reached the top floor. Soon, they turned a corner and looked down a long hall. At the end of the hall was the door to the Main Server Assembly. Gray Zombie said aloud, "Something’s wrong."

Glitter asked, "How so, underwear-dude?"

"The Baron went to a lot of trouble to freeze the screengrabs. To do that, he had to do something to the server here. He wouldn’t just leave it unguarded, so anyone could just start them up again."

"How very astute, Mr. Zombie." The voice of Miglionicco rang down the hall, and he stepped into view up ahead, standing between them and the Assembly door. "How very sad you won’t have long to enjoy your sharp thinking." He clapped his hands. From behind him, Major Antagonist, Darth Binks and Mr. Sneer jumped out. The Cappers turned to see The Evil Cheese and Ms. Iree come up behind them. They were trapped! The Baron said with a smile, "You see, this is what we in the supervillain industry call a—"

Mr. Sneer sneered, "It’s a trap!"

"I was getting to that!" Miglionicco sighed. "Here I was… I was going to make a grandiose speech about evil triumphing over food, but you’ve gone and cocked it all up, haven’t you?" He threw up his hands in exasperation and walked away, leaning against the wall.

Ms. Iree frowned. "Uh… what should we do, Baron?"

"Oh I don’t care! Get them, I suppose."

The villains sprang into action.

Ms. Iree leapt at GlitterRock her talons outstretched for his throat. He turned about, pulling his guitar up to protect him. Her claws raked across the back of it, raking into the surface. "Hey, hick chick! That’s a sour note you’re laying on my ax!" He turned the guitar and hit her, sending her sprawling.

The Evil Cheese swung his fist at the Gray Zombie, connecting on his chin. The hero stumbled back, falling down. As the Cheese moved in, Zombie reached to his belt and quipped, "Can’t we all just get a-thong?" Spinning a small red thong on his finger, he launched it at the Cheese’s feet. The villain’s large boots tangled in the mesh, and he crashed onto the floor.

Mr. Sneer spin-kicked Amon to the ground then ran over and grabbed Animebabe’s arms from behind. Major Antagonist cracked his knuckles as he came towards her. "I’m going to strike you like you’ve never been struck before!"

Amon’s hand went to his dial, spinning it. The window soon settled on the handle "Amon_tel_Williams." A flash of light later, he emerged bald with a moustache! Dressed in a sharp suit, he held a microphone in his hand. Getting up, he said, "Next time on AMON_TEL: floors, and the supervillains that fall on them." He threw the microphone, hitting Antagonist on the forehead; the villain fell back. Pulling back the microphone cord, Amon_tel smiled at Mr. Sneer. He swung the microphone in the air like a lasso. "And now a word from our sponsors…" Animebabe understood what he planned, and jumped—Amon_tel launched the cord at Sneer’s feet, wrapping around them. With a pull, he yanked the villain to the ground, freeing Animebabe.

Darth Binks stepped from behind Amon_tel, raising his fists. Wheezing, he said, "Oooooo, maxi-big dis beating iza gonna be!"

Animebabe rushed over and laid a wet smooch on Binks. A loud *kiss* was heard. Binks spun about on his heels, his tongue waggling out. "Wowzie wowzie wowzie…" He fell to the ground unconscious.

Animebabe turned to Miglionicco, fists at the ready. "The game’s up, Baron! You’re finished!"

Miglionicco rose an eyebrow. "Oh I see. This is where the forces of good overwhelm evil once again, is it?" He shook his head. "Doesn’t it get ever so tiresome living out these horrid cliches over and over again?"

Gray Zombie smiled, pulling two pairs from underwear from his belt. "No. Beating scum like you always makes it worthwhile."

"Scum? Scum??" Offended, Miglionicco said, "I have an Oxford education! I know what a salad fork looks like! You think your type can beat me? You’re not even in my class! I’m Chateau Rothchild ’42… you’re Mountain Dew!"

Amon_tel touched his dial, and changed back into Amon. "Don’t worry, Baron. We’ll make sure you’re sent to a high-class prison. There may not be a seat on your toilet, but there’ll always be a mint on your pillow."

Miglionicco grimaced at him. "Oh, how witty! But there’s one thing none of you are considering." He smiled again. "I may not be alone."

There was a jarring clamber behind the Cappers, and they grabbed their ears. The sound seemed to drain the very strength from their bodies, and they sank to the floor, wincing. Once the sound ended, a pair of boots walked past them, and they watched helplessly as a figure went to stand next to Miglionicco.

"Look, Baron-dude… I don’t think they dug my gig!"

The Baron smiled and patted GlitterRock on the shoulder. Looking at the Cappers’ shocked expressions, he asked, "What’s wrong? Did you forget about the cliché of one of the heroes’ turning traitor?"

He tsk-tsked. "You really should read more."

TO BE CONCLUDED…